Very nice submission you have here. Stellar mixing, acting, script. I love how it lulls you into thinking it's gonna be all sunshine and rainbows and then it makes a dramatic change.

I also now realize that the name "Lilin" is a subtle reference to the mythological "Lilith" - correct me if I'm wrong. ^^

One small critique - Glenora's line where she speaks of the "gleaming coin beneath their pillow" - It's quite a long line and you seem to be straining a bit toward the end of it. It's not that noticible but it stuck out a bit to me. Perhaps it's intentional though?

In any case, good luck in the contest!

Very nice assortment, I could definitely see these being used as BGM or more.